Hypermodern International Congress 2175

Remember, it wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.

20061130

Huh

Post-modernism attempted to annhilate itself. All I wish to do is prove that it never existed. And so, as a reluctant medievalist, I submit the following:

The top verse is to be sung along side of the bottom. There's another voice above the Motetus, but I'm too lazy to include it (it was Machaut's interpretation of feminine loquaciousness... Imagine Lucille Ball after Ricky finds her...


Alone with a 30 year old Fred Mermen [sp?]?



If I Love My Faithful Friend
by Guillaume (Tha Phenom) de Machaut

Motetus

If I love my faithful friend and he loves me so faithfully that he is entirely mine w/o conditions, and if I give myself to him just as fully, with no unworthy thoughts, because he has long and joyfully served me with his whole heart. have I -alas for me!- deserved to be so ill treated by my husband that I receive nothing but torment from him? No, in truth, for it is certain that anyone who returns evil for good commits a mortal sin. My husband now instructs me to do just that, for he wants me to forget the man who treated me with humble reverence and discretion and who obeyed and cherished me as much as I could have desired.

Tenor

Why does my husband beat me? Poor little me! Alas, dear God! Why does my husband beat me? Poor little me! I have done him no wrong, except that I spoke to him all alone! Alas, for me dear God! I only spoke to my friend all alone! Why does my husband beat me? Poor little me! Alas, dear God! Why does my husband beat me? Poor little me!

20061128

New homeland security buzz: bomb-sniffing bees

Left: The DoD's newest toy

One of the more creative uses of operant conditioning to date. Perhaps we could train the bees to perform different dances depending on what type of bomb they've detected. Here's a handy summary that CNN.com has provided of its own article, which only takes two minutes to read in the first place:

• Scientists train honeybees to sniff out explosives from dynamite to C4
• Researchers say bees could spot car bombs, IEDs, suicide bombers' belts
• When a bee finds explosives, it sticks out proboscis, the tube it uses to sip nectar
• Similar research done with wasps in past, but scientists say bees do better


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